Pictures I wish I had from my childhood, part 1

Family Meals Edition: A family who eats together, stays together.

To make sure my kids have these photos, we usually hire a documentary family photographer, but during the first year of covid, I took self-portraits.

I have lots of pictures of ME eating when I was younger. Mainly from when I was in a high chair — my family’s favorite is the one where I’m gnawing on a chicken leg (as I’m now vegan). But the ones that are noticeably missing are those of my whole family eating together. It makes sense, as we were all eating, not taking pictures, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want them. My mom was one of those who insisted on family dinners, so we ate together almost every night, religiously. She instilled the importance of family dinners in me, but I wish I had a photo or two of us all together so that I could see our kitchen, the table, the dishes, the food, where we sat, what we looked like… if I sat on my mom’s lap like my children do…

Do you have photos of your family eating together?

Do you regularly eat together?

Only about 30% of families do, which is unfortunate, as research has shown that eating together as a family contributes to better physical health, mental health, cardiovascular health, and academic performance.

And it doesn’t matter so much where you eat or what you eat, but that you’re together and talking and listening and enjoying each other’s company. Grab the Book of Questions or conversation cards to help lead your discussion. Try a rose, a thorn, a bud — have each person share something good that happened in the day (a rose), something that was hard (a thorn), and something they’re hoping for tomorrow (a bud). Have everyone work together to get a meal (or ten) on the table (WHY won’t everyone just eat the same damn thing?!?!). Try new foods. Talk about current events or one new thing you each learned that day. Use this time to have fun together; don’t bring up the fact that your kid’s room is a disaster or you got a call from the principal, have those conversations another time.

Love that I captured mom and dad sharing a laugh while their kids were all consumed with their food.

Our lives are so busy, having at least one time a day where you’re all together and not distracted by other things is so beneficial. And it doesn’t need to be dinner, do what works for your family. Is morning the only time you’re all together? Share family breakfasts. Not morning people, but dinner together is too hard? Make a ritual of an evening snack with each other and decompress before bed.

It may surprise some, but when asked, 80% of kids (including teenagers) would rather eat with their parents than with their friends or in front of a screen by themselves.

Adolescents still need and want time with their parents.

The struggle to get kids to eat healthy is real. And I’m pretty sure it’s universal!

Now, these photos of mealtimes that I’m sharing aren’t my greatest works of art. Nor will my clients likely print these extra large for display on their family room walls. But they are important to have, to print out and tuck away in a box or to include in a family yearbook.

So how do you get photos of you all together at mealtime? The easiest way is to hire a documentary family photographer. But there are other ways! Do you have a camera with an intervalometer? Learn how to use it and set it up somewhere to take some self portraits with your family like I do. Sound too complicated for you? No intervalmoter? Ask someone to help! Do your kids have a friend over? Are your parents about to leave after helping during the day? Are you eating out? Enlist the waitress to help. Have them take a bunch of pictures. I say a bunch, because people make weird faces when they’re eating — take a bunch so there’s one where you’re all laughing together or talking and not just in the midst of awkwardly chewing!

We can’t win ’em all… I mean, who hasn’t been here ☝️? Luckily, the togetherness and conversation is what’s most important! Here’s to a 2022 with more family dinners (or breakfasts or lunch or fourthmeal) and grabbing some photos one way or another. Make it a resolution! Who cares that the month is just about over. Oh, and If you’re curious about diving deeper into the benefits of family meals, here are some resources to get you started: the Benefit of Family Mealtime (from Harvard University), Why the Family Meal is Important (from Standford Health), the Family Dinner Project (nonprofit to help with ideas), and Parents are Rejecting Nightly Family Dinners (from Huffpost) to play devil’s advocate of sorts… though it basically say the same thing, with the caveat that it’s not the meal, but the 10-15 minutes of quality time together that matters.

Happy New Year! Enjoy those families of yours and reach out if you need any help documenting your everyday.

xoxo, Anna

#youreverydaymatters