A Day in the Life of Kim & Andy · Marlborough, CT
When I was first starting out almost two years ago, I reached out to my local MOMs club to see if anyone was interested in having me document their family for an entire day. I had recently been exposed to and fallen in love with documentary family photography and finally knew what I wanted to do with my life! Never mind that I was already 38 at the time. Forget whether or not I could do it, or whether or not I would be any good at it. First thing I needed to know: was there an interest? Granted, I offered to do them for free as portfolio-building sessions, but still. Having a stranger with a fancy camera come into your life for AN ENTIRE DAY with access to pretty much EVERYTHING and permission to share ANY AND ALL of those pictures can understandably be a bit intimidating and/or overwhelming. Nonetheless, I happily received a lot of interest. I chose the first two who responded and scheduled two full DITL (Day in the Life) sessions in one weekend!! Kim was the very first to respond to my request.
I remember being completely blown away. I wrote the day after, “What a weekend! I shot two real day sessions (one eleven hour day and one thirteen hour day) with two awesome families. I was kind of worried about doing two full day sessions back-to-back, but I have to say, it was SO MUCH FUN (and it went by in the blink of an eye)!! It really was an experience like no other. I can’t quite explain, I think I’m still processing it. But to have a front row seat to all the intimacies and intricacies of a family – I had no idea just how moving it would be…”
Those words rang truer than ever as I delivered an album to Kim and Andy a few months later. Their session was my first ever documentary maternity session, but they were never able to bring their second son home. He had a true knot in his umbilical cord and four loops around his neck. Just days before he was to be delivered via a scheduled c-section, his lifeline ultimately took his life. I was heartbroken for them. I couldn’t imagine the pain and suffering they were going through. I wanted to do something, but what?
So I made an album of their DITL for them. We hadn’t discussed an album, but it seemed the right thing to do. Once I had the physical album in my hands though, I wasn’t so sure. Would it help or only make them more upset? I struggled with what to do, but eventually decided to give it to them.
Kim just recently wrote to me, “I’m forever grateful of our ‘accidental’ maternity shoot. It’s not my style to do maternity photography, yet in our visits you captured exactly the memories I needed of my pregnancy with Thomas and the love that surrounded him.”
Thank goodness. That’s my number one goal when I document a family, my be-all and end-all: to capture the love. It’s always there, it just changes form as families grow and change. All the other things: the humor, the details, the tantrums, the surroundings, the humdrum of daily life, the environmental portraits…, these are all just extras, bonuses, if you will. They add to the story, but the story revolves around love. Always. And sometimes it’s terribly sad, but it’s always, always worth remembering. I’m pretty sure of that now.
After their free session, Kim hired me to document several of their weekly visits with her Grandmother. I want to include a few photos from the first session with her Grandmother, as Kim was 8 months pregnant, and the love and excitement surrounding the baby was palpable.
My heart still aches for them. I know there’s not a day that goes by where they don’t think of their son, Thomas James, whom they were never able to bring home and watch grow up. They have since had another healthy baby boy, but the pain of losing a child never goes away. And through Kim, I’ve learned that it’s shocking how common it is to lose a baby. I invite you to leave a heart and/or name in the comments if there’s a baby you love more than the world, who left your arms much too soon. 💓
Please reach out if you’re interested in having your family, your love story, preserved. Am I too far from you? Fear not, I can help you find a documentary family photographer in your area! Feel free to send me an email, text, or call.
xo, Anna
preserving your everyday, because #youreverydayisworthit
anna@annaholdenphotography.com
914.318.6696